we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
