I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
