Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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