Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
