Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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