you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
