I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
