Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
