it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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