I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
