I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
