If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
