Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
