i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.