If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
50% drunk capacity currently
Can you bring me the toilet please
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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