It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
