In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
