Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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