I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
40s are totally the cure
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
