Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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