can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
