I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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