I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
