would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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