The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
