He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
