I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize