i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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