we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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