bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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