ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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