u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
