my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
