Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
