I don't think brook has ever known best
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
