i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
