dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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