dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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