as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This is classic penis vs brain.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
that may or may not have been my penis.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
