went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
