she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
