if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
it hurts more in the daytime
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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