Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
