I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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