I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
