I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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