I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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