He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
