I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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