No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
