I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
