I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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