My hand turned me down
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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