he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
