She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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