i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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