You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
