just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
