Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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